Extended Health Setbacks & Major Depressive Episodes

Published: // Updated: March 13, 2021

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When you live with fibromyalgia you know that health setbacks and flare-ups are bound to happen. A bad day or two, maybe a bad week or two. But there seems no end to the one I have been caught up in this last year. As daily living became more difficult, negative thoughts and feelings took over. I allowed myself to get hung up on how bad I felt and it opened the door to a major depressive episode.

Looking Back

There were plenty of signs that I was headed toward a major flare-up. Waking up exhausted, increased pain, brain fog, dizziness, constant headaches. The signs were there, but I ignored them and kept pushing beyond my limits. I made such progress over the last couple of years I didn’t want to acknowledge I was backsliding.

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Everything came to a head in May when I went to my granddaughter’s graduation. I wasn’t feeling well but I was not going to miss her big day. About halfway through, my face, neck, and scalp started feeling itchy and prickly. By the end of the graduation ceremony, I was having trouble breathing, felt very weak, and blacked out.

My doctor came believes the exposure to all the scented products people were wearing at the graduation caused a severe asthma attack. Further testing confirmed that along with asthma, I also have COPD.

I spent the summer isolated and completely exhausted. What really knocked me for a loop was how depressed and hopeless I felt. The more depressed I felt, the more I isolated myself, the more depressed I became. I really wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. When I would wake up, I didn’t want to get out of bed and face the day. It was a vicious cycle I couldn’t get out of.

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Then one night when I couldn’t sleep I read a book about Saint Mother Teresa. I was surprised to learn that Mother Teresa sensed a dark emptiness within herself and often felt rejected and lonely. She prayed every day that God would fill the darkness with his love. Her story made me realize that I was asking God for the wrong thing.

Instead of asking God to end my pain, I started praying that He would give me the strength to deal with the pain and the ability to find joy again. I prayed a lot and I started keeping a gratitude journal. Little by little, the darkness has lifted and I am feeling hopeful again.

My Current State

Even though I feel more positive (most of the time), I have no energy. I just can’t shake the fatigue. Some days I have to drag myself out of bed. On other days, I wake up feeling rested only to be hit with a wave of exhaustion within an hour or two. Even the simplest task is draining.

Often, the fatigue comes on suddenly and I have to stop what I’m doing. It can happen anywhere at any time. Several times while writing this post the fatigue forced me to shut down the computer in mid-sentence. I still need a lot of rest time.

When my depression was at its worst I thought of shutting the blog down completely. But then I would read one of your comments thanking me for helping you feel a little less crazy, a little less alone.

Thank You for showing me that I am not alone either and stopping me from making a bad decision that I would surely regret.

Looking Ahead

Health setbacks can be the hardest part of living with chronic illness. Negative thoughts and feelings make them even harder. I have allowed myself to feel the sadness and frustration of failure. So, now it’s time to pick up the pieces and start over. Again.

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to just try one more time. – Thomas Edison

Bouncing back after a long health setback takes time. It also takes a plan. Since I am still exhausted and fuzzy-headed I need a step-by-step guide. Recently I was contacted by the author of “How to Create Your Own Action Plan for Recovery” asking if I would review her eBook which is a step-by-step guide on rebuilding your health after illness or injury. Her offer couldn’t have come at a better time.

Pin for Later

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In the coming weeks, I will share my review of the eBook. And of course, I will share what works for me and what doesn’t. A couple of topics I have planned for the blog this year include reducing chemical exposure and using essential oils to help fibromyalgia symptoms.

Are there any particular subjects you would like to see on the blog? If so, let me know in the comment section below.

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14 thoughts on “Extended Health Setbacks & Major Depressive Episodes”

  1. So sorry ???? you’re having to go through all of this Sue. Chemicals do bother me at times as well but it really is just to much effort to make my own. I have cut down on what I use though. I hope you get to feeling better really soon! ❤️????

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  2. Do you ever have that feeling something came into your life and into your view at just the right time? Because that is how I feel having found your blog tonight and this being the first post I’ve read. I’m sorry that you are struggling and having these feelings of isolation and depression. But I’m very grateful to have found this blog and this exact post, especially now, especially for so many reasons in my life.

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  3. I just found your blog and can so relate to what you said. I could really, really use the kind of book about making an action plan to rebuild health. Is there any information available about this right now ?

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  4. So sorry to read this Sue. I came over to the blog to see how you were doing, and I coincidentally clicked on this post. Thank you for mentioning my ebook, I hope there’s something helpful in there to help you deal with this horrible health setback.

    And don’t be too hard on yourself for having negative thoughts and depressive feelings. When we’re ill, it’s not just emotionally hard, but our bodies also produce a different balance of neurotransmitters and hormones, making you feel physiologically more down as well. This easily turns into a negative spiral, so be proud of yourself you’re digging deep to pick up the pieces and work on your recovery – again.

    I wish you lots of luck and strength, and if there’s anything I can do, feel free to shoot me a message!

    Reply
  5. Hello Sue,
    I have enjoyed reading your posts. I do not believe that have fibromyalgia, nor have I been diagnosed with it. However, for the past 3 years I have been to the doctors more frequently than I care for about a range of issues: including sharp chest pains that come on quickly, then disappear as quickly as they came on, depression, burning knee pain, fatigue, dizziness, random liver function abnormalities and IBS. For the most part my issues have been mild, but for some one who leads a healthy lifestyle, this issues have had me worried. I have had some very attentive doctors along with doctors who have made me wonder if it is all just in my head. I do feel mostly at ease with my conditions at the moment, however I am also just tired all of the time. I can often have a spike of energy but then I crash hard. I have battlehd colds on and off all winter (I live in Australia). It would be nice to know if there was a single cause behind all of this, because right now I feel like I am being just a little dramatic.

    Well that felt really good getting all that out!
    Thanks again, Leal

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  6. Thank you for you blog. I have just been diagnosed after having pain for years. I was wondering if there are any articles on ear pain or tinnitus and if it’s related to fibromyalgia?

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    • Thank you, Ronda. I am happy you find my blog helpful. Yes, ear pain and tinnitus are frequently associated with fibromyalgia. My ears ring most of the time so I know it can be maddening. (Tinnitus is on my list for future posts) It is more noticeable at bedtime when it is really quiet. White noise helps. I run my air purifier on high all night. 🙂

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  7. Hello! I am dealing with all of the above. I am wondering if an auto immune disease is what is causing my symptoms. 2013 when menopause began I became intolerate to all chemicals, allergic to all fibers. EDT, tinnitus, balance issues and my throat is showing signs of inflammation. Digestive issues and I do not believe reflux is the cause of all of my discomfort. I have had to stop visiting family due to items purchased and gassing off. Carpets, candles etc. Doctors haven’t a clue and many really don’t believe I am having extreme sensitivities. I am treated as if it is part of my anxiety disorder. Life has been a living nightmare the last 6 years. I have been eating organic and deleted many things that don’t agree with me. I had this blog saved to my favorites for a long time now. Having a bad week and night so in my search for answers I opened this one! I hope you are doing well. A friend, Kathleen

    Reply
  8. I have been going exactly what you are talking about for the past month. Well, I really should say in the last month is when it really knocked me for a loop starting with a major TMJ flare up. But it really started in March when Covid shut everything down. I teach senior English and things have been very stressful for us teachers. I also had other concerns and worries. I tried to get out and do things that I enjoyed and that does help at least get the mind off the pain and fatigue. The fatigue is has been the worst part for me. I used be full of energy and now I can barely keep my house hallway clean. It really helps to know that I am not alone, to hear someone else explain it so well. I sometimes feel like my family doesn’t truly understand what it is like for me. At least my kids are grown, so I don’t have to take care of them. However, I have 7 grandchildren and love spending time with them but the Fibro interfers with me getting to spend time with them like I want. I’m hoping that some of the tips on tour blog will help. I have FINALLY found a wonderful dr. Who listens to me and I’m definitely going to talk to her about some of the supplements and other tips you mention. Thank you so much for not shutting this blog down.

    Reply
    • Hi Renee. Thank you for sharing what you are going through. It is very hard for people to understand what fibro is like. I can only imagine how stressful it must be for teachers and other essential workers during this pandemic. I live in a small town and the virus hit this area several weeks ago. At this point, I don’t want to leave the house. I am glad you found a good doctor. I had a wonderful doctor but she left the area so I am on the search again. The doctor I am seeing now ignores any mention of fibromyalgia. Take care.

      Reply

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